SEEN
ON TV
QUAGOO
✦ THE PREMIUM FLOWER OF TOMORROW... TODAY! ✦
◄◄ GRAB THE BOX & SPIN IT ►►
★ NO SHAKE REQUIRED ★
📺 THE COMMERCIAL
The aisle. The guys. The squeeze. Watch the legend.
📦 THE PRODUCT
Spin it. Flip it. Read the Franchize Facts.
☎ ORDER HOTLINE
Operators standing by RIGHT NOW.
🌐 THE FRANCHIZE
Get connected. 56.6k of pure opportunity.
📍 VENDOR NETWORK
Coverage map + authorized Quagoo vendors near you.
📼 THE AISLE (1997, colorized)
▲ ADJUST TRACKING IF PICTURE ROLLS ▲
📦 THE BOX 360° QUAGOO-VISION™
SHAKE!
DRAG LEFT/RIGHT TO ROTATE IN QUAGOO-VISION™
FRANCHIZE FACTS
Serving Size: 1 sesh
Servings Per Box: yes
Premium Flower100%
Shake0%
Vibes420%
Organic100%
NoseMAX
* Percent Daily Values based on a 1997 diet. Scan the QR on the box for Franchizela.5 verification. Keep out of reach of the Other Guys.
18+ID REQUIRED
☎ ORDER NOW OPERATORS STANDING BY!
⚡ WAIT! THERE'S MORE! ⚡
Call in the next 10:00 and we'll DOUBLE your Quagoo. Just pay separate franchize & handling.
1-800-555-QUAGOO🌐 JOIN THE FRANCHIZE™ QuagooTel Network
GET CONNECTED.
The beautiful people are already in the Quagoo aisle. The question is — are you?
Join QuagooTel™, the world's first premium-flower telecommunications franchize. One call. One box. One future.
- ✔ Blazing 56.6 kbps franchize uplink
- ✔ Free pager with every territory
- ✔ Y2K compliance guaranteed*
- ✔ Exclusive NO SHAKE™ technology license
*guaranteed until 12/31/1999 11:59 PM
📍 THE VENDOR NETWORK QUAGOOTEL™ COVERAGE MAP — UPDATED HOURLY-ISH
AUTHORIZED VENDORS — SLIDE INTO THE DMs
Vendor accounts are independent partners of the Franchize. 18+ only. Tell 'em the QUAGOTRON sent you.